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Attraction is the first step in dating. For a woman, it's our responsibility to flirt when we feel attracted to a man. Use authentic lines like, "Hi, my name is..." and "Where are you from?" Men love honest, down to earth women. Asking where he's from is a sure and safe way to get that awkward first conversation started.
Listen intently during the first date. If the man asks you questions and you guys converse easily, the bonding begins! It's important for a woman to use her mind to determine attraction, like whether she looking for a smart guy, a career driven guy, a rich guy, and/or a man who can make her laugh. Assess whether or not he meets your standards. Don't just go along with a date you're attracted to unless your sole purpose is to have sex with him. If you like what you see in your date, follow by opening up your heart and then finally your genitals.
Uncertainty and experiencing doubts are natural in the second stage of dating. Understand that men will stretch away and then spring back. A woman on the other hand will start to glow and many other guys will want to date her. Don't worry if your man seems to be pulling away. He's testing the waters and in need of his space. Don't call him or try to lure him against his will. Give him time and he will come back. When he's pulling away, commit yourself to nurturing yourself without men. Concentrate on your schoolwork, girlfriends, recreation, or whatever. Don't sit by the phone and be desperate. Overcome the neediness and let your man spring back. Having sex may lead to further frustration, so you may want to postpone it in order to minimize aggravation.
Exclusivity is the next step (stage 3). Having a main squeeze is the stage for love to grow. Put your best foot forward continuously, even if both of you want to relax. The former two stages are for connection. A common challenge faced by women during this stage is seeing the man cease to do romantic things. Hopefully, he will continue to open doors and make reservations, but if he doesn't, prompt him on and make him feel good about the things he does do for you. If a date goes badly, instead of complaining, pick something positive to comment about, like the movie's cinematography or the friendliness of your waiter. Never say, "I love you," or anything that directly connects you to his person. Instead, say "What a great idea" or "I would have never thought of that". Focus on the positive aspects of everything.
It's important to remember to never become the over-giver. Women who are overachievers and over givers in romantic relationships become nasty resenters. Men thrive on being on the edge and being able to provide for the women they care about. As soon as a woman gives too much, the man will naturally go and live in his easy chair simply because he can.
Intimacy is the next level or 4th stage. This is where you and you're your mate reveal secrets about each other and come to know the other's shadow. Understand that at this stage, men will pull back more than ever and if you observe yourself, you'll see that your mood swings become more frequent and severe. Don't be afraid. It's natural to want to defend parts of yourself you feel ashamed of. Just remember that love encompasses the good AND the bad.
Engagement is the next step in and it is used establish foundational experiences. This is time for you and your man to take short vacations and perhaps set up a one year living arrangement. You should use this time to test out true levels of communication, in preparation for the potential years ahead when teamwork becomes vital. If you move faster than your partner during the five stages of dating, which we women often do, don't try to pull him along. The more your drag, the more your man will resist. Instead, go back to his level and practice compassion and empathy. Give him the time and space he needs and let the relationship progress at its natural pace. If your man never comes around, it's not the end of the world. If yours and his needs ultimately do not coincide, then that's that.
A little tip...practice, practice, practice. Now that you have these tips, put them into use! Creating positive experiences will support your womanhood and overall strength. Don't forget that is fun and that fun can be forever. These tips make you a smarter contender in the game.
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