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It seems that some people just "have it," that natural, easy ability to interact with others. For those people, seems to be a breeze, no stress, no worries. For the rest of us, however, can be a veritable nightmare. The simple thought of sitting through an entire meal with a stranger, attempting to keep up an interesting and engaging conversation can send many folks to a vow of eternal single hood. Good help, however, can turn this attitude around and have you socializing in no time. Follow these five tips for success.
#1 No More Sweaty Palms
Your heart is racing, your palms are sweaty and you are nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full or rocking chairs. It is natural and even normal to be nervous on a first (and even a second) date. So how do you overcome the jitters? Take some deep breaths and prepare. Know where you will go (even if you have to discuss it over the phone with your date beforehand), have some topics of conversation in mind and know precisely when your date will begin (you pick her up/he picks you up). Get ready well ahead of time and allow yourself a little extra time for some deep breathing to settle down a bit. The more prepared you are for your date, the less likely you will be nervous.
#2 Eye Contact
Eye contact makes some people uncomfortable, but it is very important when you are communicating with someone. Eye contact encourages people to trust you and to believe in what you are saying. Constant eye contact can be unnerving to your date, but try to maintain eye contact as much as possible. You can look in your date's eyes, then down, glancing around at your surroundings now and then, then back in your date's eyes. Keep your face relaxed, the conversation neutral and smile.
#3 Engaging Conversation
A person's favorite topic is usually himself or herself. After all, this topic is familiar and easy with little to no struggle to keep up the flow. However, it is possible to say too much about yourself. Heed this help, even if you ignore the others: During the first few dates you don't want to get into past relationships, personal issues such as illnesses, depression, and other touchy subjects. The first few dates may be a time to get to know each other, but there is such a thing as too much information. Oh, and unless you want a possible argument, stay away from volatile subjects such as religion and politics as topics of conversation.
#4 She Said/He Said: Body Language
Body language can say a lot about whether your date is comfortable, having a good time, romantically interested in you, would be receptive to another date or just wants to go home. Some basic body language can help you considerably in "reading" your date. Crossed arms: means that your date is defensive and uncomfortable, feeling the need to be guarded. Leaning toward you during conversation: means that you date wants to hear what you have to say, is interested and engaged. You would probably get a second date if you asked. Eye Contact: means your date is comfortable with you and interested in you. Add a smile to that and you have it made!
#5 Asking for a Second Date
As you are reading your date's signals (and you are, whether you realize it or not) and trying to determine if they like you, you will likely start thinking about asking for another date. If you are truly interested in the person, you should totally go for it, especially if you get good "vibes" from them. Depending on your nature, you may make subtle hints during the evening about a second date, or, if you are bolder, just come right out and ask. Either way, if you are really feeling the person it is definitely worth a shot.
The single life can be confusing and even stressful at times. Anytime we interact with others we risk embarrassment or rejection, but that is just a part of life. Don't let these negative possibilities stop you from pursuing companionship, they are only possibilities, not sure things. If you are still unsure, you can get more help by reading about men and women and how each communicates and thinks. Whatever you do, though, don't let a lack of confidence, fear or shyness stop you because your next date could be the date of your dreams.
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